Its suppose to be the 2nd day of a recess week and here I am at 2.20AM doing work. Haiz.... Life is meaningless. Tomorrow don't know whether want to go Sentosa or not. Like damn xian leh.

I wanna go Music Clinic, quite nearby at Outram park there. Take 143 can go. :) I go there and Lian Gong! WHoah! If I really can go, can someone please go with me? Haha! I dont want to go alone. I think I go check it out tommorow! Instead of going to Sentosa.










Well...... Ka ni Na Be Cao Ci Bai. Fuck OFS for losing my invoice. Make trouble for me only. Give you the invoice already keep on say you dun have. $300 plus dollars and dont expect me to pay you noobs at OFS. Pass to you, still say all is there, as if you got search your table like tat. You got so much paper on your table. As if its my fault. Argh!

Dun wan to blog liao. Feel like swearing the whole day.



I dun know whether to laugh or cry. Its so amusing yet so err.. how to say, there is no word for it. "Angry" doesn't seem to be the word. "Pissed" is not exactly cause I know its not Angels fault or mine.
I v hard to blog here leh. :P

Well, maybe Angel is rite. To the outside world i am a pervert or trying to be cool or desperate.
Ok, I was a bit sad that you said such stuff about me but those closest to me know I am not like that. The reason why I talk to you about that girl and this girl cause I don't know what to talk to you about, cause you always seem so... what is the opposite word for interested? Dis-interested in what ever I have to say. I am sorry that I tried to grab your attention by going to such extreme, by playing cool, pervert or whatever you make of me, just to try and make you talk. I tot it will make you laugh, but obviously I am wrong. Well. Sorry anyway, if you still think I am a creep, I also Lan Lan.

I went home and met Florian at the staircase, he is going to Westmall to do something with his handphone. I suppose his English is hard to understand. I was just reminded that half the semester had passed, he was in self denial that the semester is going to be OVER. So fast!

I LOVE STEP UP 2! Hoffman totally rockz !





We went to Changi beach today, for Biodiversity practical. It was quite a refreshing exchange from the usual boring lab. However it was marred by stupid people who went gaga over this trip. They were like so excited, talking loudly and stuff, as if they never went to a beach before. Freaking mothernoobs, opps, i was being to harsh, but well, I could not stand it. Its just me la. I know people might say this is peoples business mah, but it sort of get on my nerves. I not GOD k, i am not without flaws. :P

I forget to bring extra clothes and it was wasted cause I cannot play in the sea, although I really wanted to go in. And I had to stand on shore and watch them go in. :( We caught cuttle fish, crabs and jellyfish. :) It was fun la. And I get to know this girl from KR, not bad! Guess I still have it. Than she sat with me on the bus, although her friend call her to sit at the other end. ;P Well, sorry, I am single but not available. Haha!

Angel say I go there see chiobu only, which is true. Its called biodiversity. Anyway, whats wrong with checking out girls. I dont have a girlfriend anyway. :X

Jia Hui is super funny, she said on MSN just now something super funny. I laugh until buah tahan....

Me: We caught jelly fish!

Jia Hui: Jelly fish!

Jia Hui: Can touch de mah?

Me: TA say not poisonous leh....

Jia Hui: I tot it will electrocute people de wor?

Me: !!!!??? Where u get your info from?

Jia Hui: Nemo. haha


:) Wow, this is so funny! I laugh so loudly in my room cause I can imagine her saying tat.

Anyway, its time to study. :) Gd nitez!



its another half and hour b4 doomsday. PC1325 test. Arrgh.
I am so super scared la. For the 1st time since coming uni, this is the 1st test that I am a bit scared of. Well, as hanwei said, if u can get A means u can get, u cannot means cannot. Damn! I prepared quite throughly already.

To someone i know, pls dun give me the cold shoulder. Haiz, I know I am not gd with words or good at talking jokes, but i dun know, try and talk to me more often? Haha! Crap. As if u r gg to read this. :p Even if u r reading tis, haha, just ignore it. I know this kind of things cannot be forced one.

Wat the heck am i still blogging b4 a test. Haha!

E=MC2



To my dearest,
its been a while since i use this name, but just forgive me this once. :) I just want to tell you how much I miss you. It seems just yesterday u were here with me. I pray hard that you will not marry or anything in this few years. I know its selfish of me, but I really do love you very much, the feelings are so intense, that even when I close my eyes, its would reappear before me. Finish my mourning. :p. Ok. Now, your bf is not good looking. Haha! I am way better looking. Ok, maybe the concert thingy, i may not be tat gd, but I still am talented. Well, I still have 3 yrs to go, and i will definitely improve, but i will not give u up. Not soon anyway. Haha! But I still need to get stronger mentally and physically. PLEASE PLEASE dont let anything happen, i will use up 5 yrs of my life not to let you marry. haha! Opps. Sound a bit mean. But haha! Just let me ren xing this once.

From,
Darling. :)


Haha! Ok. Malay was quite fun, who the heck is our tcher, hes so funny! Made some new friends. Cikgu Siew is his name. He looks funny too. Like einstein.

Now mus mug super hard. I need to be stronger, i promised myself that and i intend to fulfill it.
Melody, u r the one tat kept me alive till now and I will honour the promised. Remember you promised me nxt year 10th April 2009!



I got this thing in my chest.

It screams : " Yes I know I am a loser, but no need rub it in. Ya, I know, I cant make jokes, i cant do this, I cannot do tat, I cannot entertain you, whatever. U diss me off every time I speak to you. So ya, it muz be my fucking face. "

Whew tat feels much better. Tats was to someone.
actually its my problem. But I have this bad habit of blaming ppl for my own misdeeds.
Haha!
Anyway. Its suks to hear jiahui in Hospital. :(

I suddenly feel lost and alone.
I will have to try and fight!

Its been depressing lately. Especially how things are gg. I suffered another big blow, but it does not matter, cause I am sort of immune to it.

I feel that we should not force people. But the desire to force people to conform has always been a subject of great debate within me. For example, I cannot force a girl to like me, it makes no sense. " But I will still have the tendency to force people. And if they dont conform, I will probably be upset be it in relationships or work. At least work is still forceable. But R/S are difficult. Haha!

I dont know wat am i tokin abt.



Super big smiley :D.

A big thank you to Sammy, haha! for keeping me company on MSN till 3.30am on a Sunday morning. Haha! U showed me a side of me which I always misunderstood. Well, I have a big dazzling smile. :) whoo hoo! I always tot i had a idiotic smile. Well! I make people happy by smiling. How great is that! Yay! Terimah Kasih Sam! Well, who would have after 1 yr plus of silence and we can still talk so late.

Terimah Kasih to Sherryn for askin me to watch Kungfu Dunk. Well, it was dumb movie but well. It serves its purpose.

My my. How late. haha, i tink i am damn high after a guava vodka


I just remembered this song. By David Tao to no one in particular.


Beautifully written and sung.
How i wish I can sleep and see her smile......



I finally had the courage to MSN [Im] today. To my surprise, no sorrow, no anguish, no jealousy.
Its GREAT! The 1 month thingy really work! I'm suprised how well I can take it. Doesn't mean I'm not sad, but its like u see past certain things. Anyway, what is yours it's yours, no matter how u try to run, you could run 1 round and end up at the same spot. As i said, 搞不好，绕了一圈，还是回来了。:)



Brings joy to me everytime I think of it.



I dun know, but I had a fun time rewriting the table for my lab practical. It was like I never concentrate so much for anything this sem. Ashamed of myself. haha.

Lab was fun, I actually understand fully cause I prepared for it. And of course due to the super interesting specimens they had. Although it was super gross. They had this baby shark since 1983. How gross can it be. I would rather touch a live specimen than a dead one and although it is not rotting, its still disgusting. Its like the animal never rest in peace and you play with it. Gosh!
Anyway, its still interesting. Ended at 6. Decided to go back home.

I had a dumb dream yesterday. I had to go taiwan for exercise for 2 days and RnR for 4 days. WHoa, where got so good one.haha. Anyway, me and my frens had a good time at Xi men ding than suddenly Angel came out, and i chased her and she dissapeared. weird rite, Y she suddenly pop out in my dream. Damn it should stop tinking abt such things. Someone please slap me.
haha.


Let me see, i had 2 bottles of beer and 2 cups of wine on Vday. Cheers to Kwan rong and Laura for droping by, although is I invited one. Mcvin and Sherryn too.



Are you not ready? So am I. So let us remain as friends, and let time tell. :]












Its 2.30am in the morning! Cannot sleep.

I had a sleepy day today. I totally 4get what classes I have.
Haiz have to make delivery tommorrow. Well.
I made a card and cookies and a rose to give someone.
Hope it makes her day. :)

Off to sleep now!



Now lets see, so far I am making good progress. I have been running almost every other day. I have been studying almost everyday, not enough! But I have so little time.

I am happy, whoa, about something. I suppose there is nothing to be happy about. It is not me, but there is just a glimmer of hope tat it could be. I should slap myself and wake up, its definitiely not you. How can it be? No no no, muz be talking about someone else! aarghh! I dont know what am i talking about. Whoever is reading this, THIS IS NONSENSE! haha
:)


Ching a ling by missy elliot definitiely ROCKS!
Is it you - cassie , definitiely must listen.
Low- Florida featuring T-pain best clubbing hit of the year.

All from step up 2!



PEace at last. Peace with myself. I wont be blogging about my nonsense anymore.

Vday celebration with my "date"-1 bottle of white wine and 1 bottle of vodka. Enuf to knock out an elephant. I do have date to called upon, but at this time, I would prefer to be alone. I suppose I will be having a washing machine head the day after.
I must impressed that it is not because I am drowning my sorrows, its because I like to drink to escape reality for a short while. If I tell u tat I am not sad u wont believe. But I try my best to be happy as I can.

I wish tat life is as easy as this. But hell. This is life.

原来我不帅- is super nice.
JJ is super cute and dorky, Mr Nice guy.
I also similar what, how come I dun have this sort of thing happening to me. ;P No fair.
Just jokin. :)

I learnt alot of things in there. Like, " ask yourself, do you still love her? If yes, just continue to care for her, maybe 1 day she will be touched by you. ", "Isit you are better off not caring for her, if no, than just care for her" tat sort of got me thinking. I should be selfless in love. Xi huan yi ge ren bu qiu hui bao, zhi yao ni kai xin, wo ze me yang tou bu zong yao le.

My fav song of the day. 期待你的爱 by JJ lim

Good night and have a nice day. Ciaoz. see you on my nxt post.



I have nothing to blog, except how sucky my CNY was. I dont think U guys would want to hear anymore of my nonsense rambling about love blah blah blah. Honestly I am sick of it myself.
Hence, I found a pic of Her and Mr X on friendster. Married it says her status. i just look at it, and laugh. Seriously, I LAUGH! I dont know what happen than, I think I just lost it. Than I started to erhmm... teared abit. Embarrassing as it is, my mom walk in and stared a me, cause I never cried before. I just told her that my eyes are. I NEVER CRIED, I just had a few drops of tears thats all! :P.

Its sort of like a dream you know, both of us. We just happen to catch each other and everything just fits in nicely. It just flew past, until u realize that I was just a dream. I refuse to wake up. Up till now I still tink I am still dreaming........ I hate it when people ask me, "how are things between you and your girlfren" and I have to say, oh, we break up. AND I HAVE TO TELL EVERY FACKING ONE OF THEM I'M OK. So what if its not ok. Life still has to go on. Well, to tell u the truth, I miss you, but I dont need you. But I still love u. Isit a paradox? haha.


I just fell in love with squash. :)

Project Superstar 3 here I come!




Wishing all my friends a very Happy CHinese New year!



Finally XQ and Hallplay finished. Emcee was fun. :)

I found a new attraction in a new girl. I wont say who. Leave you guessing, but I wont say I fall in love with her, just that I have some attraction.
Shes not pretty. yet, she reminded me of someone I love, She made me lively and happy this semester, when everything else failed to do so.

Yet I am afraid, that I maybe substituting her for someone else. Which is totally not fair to her or to me. And, I am afraid to let go of the past, I am just hanging on, hoping that someday she will return, but as days passes, the hope just gets slimmer and slimmer. Can I really afford to wait for her to return?

Especially today when the band played "Secret", I almost cried especially when I think of the part where Jay Chou was using liquid paper to scribble on the desk. " I love u do u love me? "
" <3 " I remembered when u wrote it on my back. It made me realized how much I miss you and love you.

I would give up almost anything in the world for you, my life including. But.......

Myself

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