I just discovered something new about myself. It seems the more I discover, the more complicated my life and character seems. Just take for today. Celebrating hazels birthday. It was suppose to be a happy occasion, but it seems to be even taking a toll on me. I find it a bore to go and its like why should I even be there.

Everyone seems to be at ease there. All except me. I feel so out of place. Like suddenly all the faces I once knew are all unfamiliar. I was scared, so i face my hand phone. What does it mean? I do not know.

I dont want to stay in hall any longer.

OMFG, I haven't been blogging for quite a while. I am 4ever so freaking busy. With School work, with JCRC, with Flag. Etc.

Updates: My birthday is just over. Yup! 10th April! YAYZ! alot of people wished me happy Birthday. :D Like really alot of people know, like the whole hall knew about it. And I really enjoyed the attention for that day. Of course the most impt one did came. ;P thru SMS. EVen if the whole hall never wish me, she got is enuf to make me happy.
Anywayz, let me see, i got a birthday cake from Hiromi, Sarah, huilian, gereldine, hazel and Laura. :D

I got alot of ice cream from Wanqing. HAha! So sweet. :D
I got a present from laura, i tink its a sketch book and a note pad.
I got a card from my JCRC.
Oh ya! And my so wonderful cupcakes from Juls and Sharon.


THANK YOU!








Recently seems more depressing. I starting to have suicide tendencies. I would like look at high buildings and ponder how does it feel like to jump off. And walking down our staircases, how easy it is for you to trip and hit your head and cause possible brain trauma. Or just sleep and don't wake up.

Problem is nobody cares, nobody seems to care about me this days. Whether am i there or not whether am I alive or not. How do i feel. No one seems to fucking care. Pathetic ain't it. Supposedly my frens last sem are treating me like a stranger. I do not know whether because I isolated myself, or because they isolated me. Especially now when I am having troubles with work and emotions, I find myself stuck, with no one to help me. I think I am going to have a breakdown soon.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.....................



something happened in the afternoon tat made me cry for 2 hours straight. My eyes are swollen and puffy. I dont know why my reaction I so emotional. But really anyone put in my shoes will cry to shame. ;p

Anyway, did malay tutorial translation with Sherryn,damn funny. laugh until stomach pain. Never laugh for so long already. I discovered that my malay standard is quite "cui". Finish my translation at 12.30.

Went down to hiromi's room to help her in a soci essay. Abit stupid la, ask me how clubbing was. Than we talk about alot of things, from friends to flag. Yeah, she also feel the same way as me about our group of "frens". yup.

I am the flag vice head, and possible head. I dont feel excited as I do,



Why why am I so useless................

Everytime I see her friendster pictures, the hope us getting back just seems more and more further away, you wouldnt imagine the pain. Its beyond believe.

Why do I still believe that someday, it will happen.

I want to kill myself. For this reason. Sobx.....

Everytime my life seems so worthless. like there is no point living.



I had a dream, I was so happy but as they said, all good dreams have to come to an end. :(

As the topic suggest I did something blur. On sat I went home but to my utter disbelief, I forget to bring my housekey! -_-'' And I had to head back to Hall! Wat a sucky day! I had to travel all the way back to Clementi. Aargh..
Super Blur, maybe Senritsu is rite. I am blur. Xian. But I dont look blur wat! Wat nonsense!

I just got some info that the Astons guy ask for Sarah's number! OMG! LUcky woman! Haha! The guy better be the Boss son, otherwise i really pity him. Haha! :D suprising piece of news.

girl you know i miss you so i didn't know you had to go you've had enough of our distance baby before i had the chance to say i'm staying with you for the rest of my life don't keep telling me these words you don't know how much it hurts and i'll promise you eternity if you promise me your stay but now it's too late i'm no longer the man that i was i will go on without her like a fool who's too sure i'm like a bird who's lost her wing a fire without its flame i don't know how to be strong when my love has to move on i am a song without a soul now that she's gone what's left of us is this song don't keep telling me these words oh no you don't know how much it hurts and i'll promise you eternity if you promise me your stay but now it's too late i'm no longer the man that i was i will go on without her like a fool who's too sure i'm like a bird who's lost her wing a fire without its flame i don't know how to be strong when my love has to move on i am a song without a soul now that she's gone what's left of us is this song oh yes i know i don't know baby i am know i'm a fowl and i will go on without her like a fool who's too sure i'm like a bird who's lost her wing a fire without its flame i don't know how to be strong when my love has to move on i am a song without a soul now that she's gone what's left of us is this song this is our song without a soul now that you're gone what's left of us in this song

I have not been blogging. Argh.... Cause so freaking super bz!
RHAPS, IT1001, Stats, Fin Sec Stuff. Really damn cui la.

Wednesday- Went Sentosa with Aikleong, Yanru, Gereldine, Hiromi, Alvin, Sarah, Huilian and Alvin. Hazel came pretty late though. Played till 6pm. I became darker! Yay! Now my skin color is a nice golden tan. Haha! :) I think my basketball is damn Zai la. The feeling is coming back to me already. OMG. Hot babes were a common sight there but stupid Army ppl had to spoil the day for me. A bunch of noobs. Too bad there were no hot babes in the group, Yan Ru was pretty though, I dun think she rem she was my OGL. ;P

Thurs - Went shopping for Sofa with Rose. Bought 2 really nice Sofas for the main lounge. I chose one wor. Suprisingly, rose did not interfere with my decision making process, she just say I like which one than I buy lo. haha! So shiok. Than Rose trt Ajisen Ramen. Arigato. :)


Friday - Rush for project, do stats kena disturb by Zichun. Blah Blah. So tired. Yucks I hate this life.



p.s - bu yao ba wo dui ni de hao dang zuo li shuo dang ran.

P.ss - A- i really wish we could be frens. :(

Myself

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